Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Guest Post from Shabby Chic Addiction: The Mystery Disease, I've Got It!


I was reading an online post by Shabby Chic Addiction a week or so ago and realized that I have a treatable but incurable disease. I knew something was wrong before that fateful day, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Thanks to the post shared below, I now know what I've got. Heaven help all of us with the dreaded Mystery Disease. The symptoms below are the best known but I'm sure there are some as yet undiscovered symptoms.

The Mystery Disease

1. You wake up with an idea to find old shutters and paint them in a haphazard manner to use them as a corner accent in your home.

2. You drive 46 miles around your town on the hunt for abandoned shutters to paint.

3. You are excited for garbage day in the historic district in hopes to get good junk before the city hauls it away.

4. You learn to breathe through your mouth so you don’t notice the musty smells of old things.

5. You start calling dust and rust “patina” and consider everything with it much more attractive and valuable.

6. The bright lights of the discount mega stores begin to hurt your eyes and sensibilities. (I call it Junk Vampirism).

7. You happily trade your only day available to sleep in late for an early rise to go “pick” at yard sales and flea markets.

8. You consider used layers of lace and denim with cowgirl boots as appropriate garb to wear to the grocery, a flea market or even an evening out.


Ladies: If you have identified with any of the 8 symptoms above you may be at risk for the mystery disease. Unfortunately there is no cure. Victims with a severe case can expect to experience frustrated husbands who are constantly asked to move furniture, fix old junk and endure mismatched pillowcases and frilly bed linens. This disease may alienate you from friends who are creeped out by patina. The good news about your disease is that you will be very happy with your treasures, you will make new girlfriends who love patina and you will crave the thrill and adventure of a dumpster full of vintage furniture and finds. Oh, it’s contagious, and I have it. Get Well Soon!

11 comments:

  1. Hahahaha!! I used to be one of the creeped out girlfriends, then I moved to Mount Dora and found myself afflicted by this Mystery Disease...it definitely is contagious and incurable! Just one question, can you make my husband catch it too??

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  2. If you figure out a way to give it to him let me know. Mr Vintage is always wanting to haul my stuff to the dump!

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  3. I must be the oddest antique dealer ever, I don't like the hunt, I like the rehab....But, count me in with 4&5! LOL

    Carol

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  4. We should be partners! I could hunt and you could rehab, lol!

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  5. This is hilarious and written so well! Too true! My favorite part was "The disease may alienate you from friends who are creeped out by patina" and "you will make new girlfriends who love patina," also "Junk Vampirism" is a cool term I'll have to start using myself. Love it! ~ Jamie

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  6. I had a minor victory this week - the hubs finally resigned himself to the fact that I have stuff in the garage too. He did the whole "this is my side, that's your side" number and put me in charge of my side LOL. It's about time!

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  7. I've got it, for sure! I feel better no that I've found a support group, You! and fellow like-minded bloggers. My friend told me that I'm a hoarder. Oh well.....
    You're fun!
    Be blessed, Linda @ Grandmalay's Daydreams

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  8. Did you get my email? I sent you one on FB and I returned the one you sent me with your address, I want to ask about the market bags, can you get back to me, i have tried every way possible to reach you, if you answer on this comment I won't receive it, it just stays on your blog. Thanks

    Carol

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  9. Got it and already replied via facebook : )

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  10. This is so very funny!!! "creeped out by patina" made me laugh out loud! I have an ex-friend that decided she wanted to paint furniture too. Did it for about 5 minutes and then told another friend that's she couldn't do it because she didn't want her garage to look like an episode of hoarders. Lol!

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